Don't Let Your Dreams Die
by Hana
Summary: It's short... but I think it was necesary for me. I changed the censor just to be safe.
1.

Disclaimer: I am a non-rich Navy officers' kid

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**Disclaimer:I am a non-rich Navy officers' kid.You're not gonna get any money offa me... well, not much.So please don't sue me.I mean no offense when I use these characters, and I hope to return them without offending anyone.They belong to Squaresoft and Co.**

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**Author's Note:This came to me on one of my walks... or when I was babysitting.Not sure which.But I was thinking, after this stuff with Ultimecia, what did Seifer have left, save his posse?He was left with tattered, torn dreams.Did he give up on them?I mean... he'd already had his dream become a reality.But it was so twisted and ugly....**

**Oh, and it's boring.**

**Don't Your Dreams Die**

**The town of Balamb was quiet.Asleep.The sun not even having risen yet. It seemed to be getting ready for the hustle and bustle that the rising of the sun usually brought.**

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**Unexpectedly, the stillness of the morning was interrupted by soft, uncertain footfalls.They seemed to be apologizing for disturbing the stillness.**

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**The uncertainness of these footfalls were quite out of character for this person, usually arrogant and one that exuded confidence.But... here, when no one was around, and he was left alone with his thoughts, that fell away.What was here now was a regretful, broken down man.One that was afraid of his past and uncertain of his future.**

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**Earlier that morning...**

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**Seifer woke up with a start and sat up in the bed, breathing hard and drenched from head to toe in sweat.He stared out into the darkness and took in deep breaths, closing his eyes against the scenes of the nightmare.He never had trouble remembering where he was after waking up from a nightmare... if he did, it might have dulled the pain that those scenes caused him.But he didn't, and it caused him even more pain.He was in Balamb Hotel, which also worked as apartments, and worked as a dockhand.Instead of where he belonged and the job he was fit for.**

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**_"Fit for?" _He thought, snorting softly to himself,_ "Not anymore," _Throwing the sheets aside and grabbing fresh clothes, he headed for the bathroom. _"I ruined my chances.People can only forgive so much... and a 'fallen knight' isn't 'fit' for being a SeeD.And I don't 'belong' anywhere anymore."_**

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**Closing the door to the bathroom, he leaned against it.Rubbing his hand over his face, he straightened.After stripping himself of his clothes, he turned on the cold water and stepped into the shower, letting the freezing water wash away the sweat.And wishing it could wash away his nightmares.**

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**After shutting off the water, stepping out of the shower and toweling dry, he dressed in the fresh clothes and stepped out of bathroom, making sure the light was off first so that the brightness of it in the darkened room wouldn't disturb Fujin and Raijin.**

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**He paused at the foot of Fujin's bed to stare at her and Raijin in turn.No matter how much he insisted, argued, and pleaded with them, they would not take a step in the direction of Balamb Garden.Fujin had glared at him as if he'd asked to become a stripper, and Raijin had told him, "We're a posse, ya know?It wouldn't be the same without you, ya know?It'd be real lonely, ya know?"And many arguments had ensued after that... but... those two were loyal to a fault.He'd finally 'shut up about it' as Raijin had put it (which had also gotten him a kick in the shin) when Fujin had both kicked him in the shin and slapped him in the face, telling him to 'SHUT UP!'He did.But that had further instilled in his mind that he didn't deserve them.Because, instead of working where they deserved and making what they were worth, Fujin worked as a waitress and Raijin worked with him as a dockhand.**

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**Sighing, he walked up to the middle of Fujin's bed and took hold of the sheets that were tangled around her legs, gently tugging them up to the middle of her chest.Lifting his hand, he gently cupped her ivory cheek, brushing it softly with his thumb.Sighing again, he let his hand drop away.**

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**Turning away, he walked to the door.After making sure he had a key, he quietly let himself out.**

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**Present...**

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**Farina heard the soft, unsure footsteps behind her stop when the person caught sight of her.Her back was turned to him so she couldn't see who the 'person' was.After a few moments had passed and the footsteps didn't continue, she rose to her feet and turned around.**

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**Seifer felt momentary panic when the female in front of him started to stand and briefly considered running, but shook it off and met the female's gaze directly.**

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**_"It's him," _were Farina's first thoughts.She'd immediately recognized Seifer Almasy only because she'd seen him around Garden various times.**

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**He met her gaze directly and she held it for only a few moments before turning slightly off to the side.Not because she was afraid of him being able to read something in them, but because she'd always had trouble with meeting peoples gazes.She wasn't afraid of him reading anything in them anyways, even if her eyes had been readable or expressive and it was just a little bit lighter.She didn't feel disgust, pity, violence, or anything else of the kind toward him.Only understanding.**

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**Seifer didn't know what to feel when she turned away from him.That was a good indication that that she wasn't going to charge him.Or even acknowledge him, so he settled on relief.He didn't even know if she knew who he was.**

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**Then she turned back to him, her long hair swaying with the movement.**

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**"I don't bite."**

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**Seifer almost jumped at the softly spoken words.Then he narrowed his eyes and glared at her through the darkness, forgetting that the look was probably lost on her.**

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**"Then you obviously don't know who I am." **

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**He mentally winced when that came out a lot harsher then he'd wanted.But he was surprised when she didn't recoil.Instead she turned so that her back was to him and sat back down on the dock, her legs folded Indian style.**

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**"I know your identity..."**

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**She let the sentence hang and he opened his mouth to say something when she continued.**

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**"...If that's what you mean."She again paused before going on."And I know what you've done.But as for knowing you... you're right, I don't.Does anyone?"She asked, spreading her palms out.**

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**That took him completely off guard and he was rendered speechless.He realized that he had subconsciously put her with the rest of the human population without evening saying a word to her.The population that assumed they knew everything about him and his ambitions because of what he did.Because he had fallen.And they weren't about to help him get back up.But hey, this could very well be another ploy to get him to let his guard down for an instant.**

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**After a few moments he found his voice again."Don't you think that it's a little... I dunnno... dangerous? for you to be out here at this time of night?"**

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**She cocked her head and looked up at him but didn't say anything.Only fingered the leather collar of her jacket.He held her gaze.Biting the inside of her bottom lip, she looked away, and her quiet voice floated through the air.**

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**"You mean do I think you're going to suddenly charge me and seriously hurt or kill me?"She sighed and paused for a moment before continuing, dropping her hand from her collar."Seifer... this may be a little hard to believe right now, but... some of us would love to see you get a second chance at life and living.And your dreams, whatever they may be."She rose to her feet and turned around, looking him in the eyes, silencing him when he opened his mouth to speak."No, life doesn't... it isn't always made of happy endings, Seifer.Believe me, I know.But it is what we make of it."She stopped and considered him for a moment."What... what are your dreams now, Seifer?Would you like to come back to Garden and become a SeeD?"**

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**Seifer stared her in the pale light of the morning.She had just met him, or had she? and she was telling him this stuff.She was either crazy or sincere.He was willing to bet on the former.Coming out of his thoughts, he realized that she was still waiting for an answer.**

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**He turned away as he answered the question. **

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**"I'm never going to be a SeeD, no matter how bad I want to become one.Wishing's not going to change that."**

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**Farina looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments, unconsciously fingering the collar of her black leather jacket.Letting her hand drop away, she walked over to where he stood.**

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**"Nice view.I love the crates.Great touch."**

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**Startled at her change of attitude and seriously comical voice, he turned to face her.**

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**"Funny, Sassy."He replied sarcastically once he saw her face and the way she was studying the dock.**

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**She turned to face him, searching his face and, in the process, making him very uncomfortable.**

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**Leaning forward, she put her hand on his shoulder.**

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**"Seifer, you can't let your dreams die.Believe me, it will eat at you.You let your dreams die, you're going to die.Not physically... but what do you have to live for?And I'm not saying that you should live for only yourself and your dreams. NO!Far from it!But...dreams and goals are what keep you going.They don't even have to be big one's... maybe they're just little one's... and as you accomplish one, you place another one in front of you." She sighed and leaned back."Believe me, I know what the words, hurt, rejected, and ashamed mean.And through learning the meaning of those words, I've also learned the importance of dreams.You need them.You need something to reach for.Or you're going to be miserable and regretful.And yes, I know you have your posse.Your friends... they're important, Seifer.And they'll help you achieve your dreams as you help them with theirs... but... don't forget your dreams, Seifer.**

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**She removed her hand from his shoulder and leaned back, turning to look toward the ocean again.**

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**Pointing to some birds in the distance, she asked, "Do you see those birds, Seifer?They have goals.Once one is finished, they start over and set another one before them."She stopped, dropping her hand and biting her lip."No, Seifer.Wishing doesn't do anything.Wishing is for fools, if that's all they do.Actions do something.But wishing... the wishing's what starts it.Life's what we make of it.We can't do anything about the past, but the present and future... they're still in motion."Turning back to him, she met his eyes squarely."And believe it or not, there are people who would still like you to succeed in your dreams.And are willing to help you get there.But you've got to put your pride and arrogance on the shelf and ask them to help you."**

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**Seifer studied her oval face for a moment through the dim light that the rising of the sun was providing.It was sincere.**

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**"I'm going to be here until tomorrow morning," she began, startling him out of his thoughts, "If you'd like to get in contact with me after that, go to Garden and ask for Farina Schonay.Or... you can ask Mrs. Dincht for my number.I don't remember why she has it, but she does."She gave him the tiniest of smiles and turned to leave.**

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**"I'm out of form."**

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**She turned back."Then get back in form."**

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**Turning back around, her long strides soon took her out of his line of vision**

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**Seifer went to the edge of the dock and sat down, his long legs dangling over the edge.He reflected over the conversation.There were people who were willing to help him, she'd said.Who?Probably not any of the orphanage gang.He sighed.Did it matter?**

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**_'They're offering me my dreams back,'_ he realized, _'All I have to do is reach out and except their help.But... to do that...,' _he ran his hand over his face.To do that he'd have to show them him.Not the arrogant, prideful person they thought he was.And he'd have to work.Hard.To earn back their trust.She'd said that they were willing to give him back his dreams.Not that they trusted him._'But in order to give me a second chance, they must trust me enough to work for those dreams.'_He dropped his hand from his face._'The question is... am I willing to prove that their trust is founded?'_ **

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**He stood abruptly, his decision made.__**

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**~Continued Soon...~**

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**Authors note II:Just a comment about the Fujin becoming a stripper part.I think that that would be one of the most degrading things that he could ask of her... that any friend could ask of another... soooo that's why I put it.**

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**I own Farina Schonay.Umm... if you want what she looks like, to kind of paint an image in your mind... She's 5'6, has thick, dark brown, almost black hair that reaches to her hips, she's slightly tan and she's got gray eyes.Uh... those are the basics, anyway.**

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**I hope you liked the story.Flames (!? GASP!!), constructive criticism, and any other reviews are welcome.Just because this is my first doesn't mean I want you to go any easier on me.:o)Though I do hope to get better with time.Just... please don't start swearing up and down at me.(: P**

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**Also, you're not going to get anything R or NC-17 out of me.You might not even get PG-13 out of me, unless it's for the action.And I'm not going to do a lot, if any, of those.I don't think that a fan fiction has to have sex to be good.Please do not flame me for that fact. **

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	2. Why...?

Author's Note: The Disclaimer is on the first chapter

Disclaimer:Is on the first chapter.

Thoughts

Farina let her long strides take her out of sight of the dock and back to Balamb Hotel, her thoughts whirling.Climbing the stairs and walking down the long hall that led to her room, she let herself inside and leaned on the door, staring absently at the bed.

_'I can't believe I did that.Though I do think that Cid would give him one more chance, why did I have to tell him to come back?What if he asks for my help?!'_Farina closed her eyes tightly and sighed._'Then… I'll just have to give it to him, won't I?He needs someone in Garden who he'll be able to trust.And I told him that I'd help him.'_

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With a sigh, she opened her eyes and pushed her tired body away from the door.Taking off her jacket, she laid it across the single chair in the room and wearily lay down on the bed.Closing out thoughts of the world, she was soon asleep.

Farina walked down one of Garden's airy blue halls, staying to the side so she wouldn't get in anyone's way.She was carrying a large box of books that had just arrived at the lobby.The deliveryman was in a hurry and didn't have time to drop them off at the library, so Sashna asked her to pick them up for her.

It had been a month since she'd spoken to Seifer at the dock and he hadn't gotten in contact with her again, so she didn't know if he'd believed a word she'd said, just taken them with a grain (or two or fifty) of salt, or had gone or someone else for help.In a way, she was relieved.If it was the last choice. 

She was jolted out of her thoughts when she felt a firm shove to her back.Normally, she would have been able to catch herself, but with the box in her hands, she wasn't able to move very quickly.So she fell to her knees and heard the snickers of her peers.Biting the inside of her lip, she was moving to get up when someone grasped her elbow.She didn't hear the gasps of the people around her, or she might not have stiffened in assumption that this person was going to try to further humiliate her.Looking up, she almost froze, but caught herself.She was looking up into the face of Seifer Almasy.

Quickly standing and picking up the box, she turned to face him.

"What was that all about, Sassy?" 

"What took you so long?"

Seifer rolled his eyes."I was out of form, Sassy.Not much, but enough.I've spent the month getting back into form, contacting Cid, and all that other junk that I needed to do.We're on out way to see him now."He didn't know why he was explaining this to a girl he didn't even know, but he felt that he owed her an explanation.She looked past his shoulder to give a cool look to some students who were still lingering in the hall and staring.They got the hint and got on their way.Seifer took that time to study her.He hadn't made out her features well in the pale light of the just rising sun at the dock.

She looked about 5'5, 5'6, her dark brown hair fell to her hips and she had a two inch wide white streak at her left temple that ran halfway down the length of her hair, the width thinning out on the way down.Her hair was now in a French braid. Her deep gray eyes looked wary, and shuttered.Her body was toned and well fit.She had a figure some girls would kill for.All in all, she was gorgeous, and didn't look like much of a fighter, but he knew not to judge a person by what they looked like of how they acted.Then would where Raijin be?He thought with a mental smirk.

Farina felt a bit uncomfortable under his scrutinizing eyes, but hid it, pushed it away.

"So what was that shove thing in the middle of the hall?"He asked the question and Farina felt relieved and shifted the box she still held in her now aching arms.

_'I think they must have switched the book order and a brick order.'_Out loud she said,"If you'll excuse me, I've got to get this to the library."Seifer grabbed her elbow. 

"I asked you a question."

She considered his face for a moment."Ice Queen."She said simply.He frowned, not understanding."Stick around and you'll probably find out.And pick it up yourself.Maybe."She tugged her elbow from his grasp and quickly walked out of his sight, but not before turning back around and telling them welcome back.

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Author's Note: Nataku, thank you for reviewing.I really appreciate it.:o)

Do they even have a lobby?Is it that office you see when you exit out of Garden?Oh, and Sashna is the 'Library Girl.'

I'm sorry this took so long to get up.I didn't know exactly where to go from the first chapter.Should I continue from the dock scene?Maybe two weeks to a month later?Expand a little on Farina?Or on Raijin and Fujin's thoughts?-shrugs- But I'm sure you get the point.I've rewritten this thing I've no idea how many times.

And about the white streak in Farina's hair, someone I know has that.It's natural and it's her birthmark.So I didn't get from X-MEN.


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